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斩获五所藤校+斯坦福,真的是靠她的好文书吗?

编辑:100教育 16-10-14 03:26:21 分享到:

100留学小编导读:留学生朋友们,每当申请季的到来,又要为写文书而绞尽脑汁,不知道大家对这个名叫Brittany Stinson的女孩还是否有印象。

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就在今年四月份,她拿到了5所常春藤大学的录取通知:耶鲁大学,哥伦比亚大学,宾大,达特茅斯和康奈尔大学,此外,录取率低至4.69%的斯坦福大学也向她发来了录取通知书。

众所周知,美国8所常春藤联盟是出了名的难进,低录取率也让每年的爬藤人群必须通过极其残酷的竞争。Brittany Stinson被录取的几所大学今年录取率为4.69%到13.96%。


那么,问题来了,除了她优秀的学术成绩,申请文书的写作是否发挥着极其重要的作用?这位美国女孩到底是因为什么而被美国名校青睐呢?到底我们该如何将寻常的经历或故事组织成完美的语言来吸引招生官呢? 

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1.你需要一个有冲击力、有诱惑力的开头


她选择用顽皮的方式去描述:通过以美国人们熟知的场景——到Costco购物作为引子,引起读者的兴趣,描述了一幅又一幅大家熟悉却从未深刻研究过的画面。试想一位招生官在阅读了很多份essay之后他可能已经昏昏欲睡了,这时候一个有迷惑性或冲击力的开头能够激起招生官好奇心、引导其继续阅读。Stinson的essay开头写了自己小时候去Costco(美国连锁超市品牌)的经历,看起来似乎平淡无奇,但是也让人想知道超市的经历到底会有什么独特。

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2.像勾勒一幅画一样叙述一个故事


在叙述故事的时候语言必须要有很强的可读性,让读者可以通过语言想象出你所说的场景或故事。灵活使用夸张、比喻等修辞手法。Stinson在文中用Costco来比喻现实世界,以小见大,既独特又很贴切。另外因为写的是日常的小事,其语言也很幽默好玩,很有吸引力。


3.文章整体要有“暗线”


所有我们所讲的故事一定是有它潜在的目的的,这个能让读者呼之欲出的目的就是文章的“暗线”。通过描写自己的个人经历来传递自己从中学到的或收获的知识。在Stinson的整篇essay中都埋藏了她非常有求知欲与探索欲的伏笔,从开始到最后她给自己的定位都是explorer,并且最后结合学校的学习和经历成功体现出自己对知识的渴望和热情!


4.学会暗示


无论你的故事是成功的还是失败的都是在暗示招生官你如何成为了现在的自己。失败的经历让你更有经验,而成功的故事也告诉了招生官你是如何走到现在。


5.适当地冒险


遵循常规的写作手法固然重要,但是有的时候别出心裁也是一种亮点。Stinson没有使用一些正式的、严肃的或者是华丽的辞藻来描述自己的探索欲与求知欲,反而是用一些很通俗常见甚至非常生活化的语言拉近与读者的距离,这反而让她的形象更加鲜活。

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以下为Brittany Stinson申请文书原文:


题目: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.


原文:Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. 


Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight­loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity. 


While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the ‘all beef’ goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia's workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52” plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits – qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable–and tender.


I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo­chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross­country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest. 


My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.


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